Monthly Archives: July 2012

A Japanese mech could be yours for $1.35 million, why are you still here?

Suidobashi Heavy Industries are the brains behind Kuratas, a 13-foot tall mobile suit that weighs 4.4 tons, and looks like a cross between a Geth unit and a Metal Gear. Oh, did I mention that it’s available for pre-order right now?

At this juncture, I feel that I should point out a few things. Firstly, there is some debate whether this is real or not. Secondly, that first point shouldn’t matter because this video is…you know what? I’m not even going to describe it; words could do it no justice. Lean back and watch four minutes and forty-two seconds of awesome. You won’t regret it. Just…try not to eat or drink anything for the duration, okay? Trust me.
If you survive the video, my second-by-second reactions are listed after the break; partly because this is one to tell the grandchildren, and partly because, well, ****.

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E3 and LA are still going steady (for three more years, anyway)

After speculation that E3 would be leaving the Los Angeles Convention Center in 2013 and beyond, the Entertainment Software Association announced today that a deal has been struck to keep the gaming juggernaut in L.A. for three more years. The expo, which brings something in the neighbourhood of $40 million to the city each year, was considering the move because of the proposed construction of a football field in the midst of the area that houses the LACC and the Staples Center. After some no-doubt-intense negotiations, an acceptable consensus was reached. Which is a very good thing, because as president of the ESA Micheal Gallagher told The Verge:

“It takes about 24 months to turn a show. They’re like aircraft carriers. They can’t turn on a dime.”

As similes go, I’ll take aircraft carriers over boxes of chocolates every damn time.

FIFA 13 is better with Kinect, won’t take that kinda language from you any longer

…really? Wow. So Electronic Arts, in all their wisdom, have decided to add Kinect functionality to FIFA 13. You can substitute players through voice commands, change formations on the fly and other fantastic edge-of-the-seat stuff. But that’s not all, folks! If – as so often happens during a match of FIFA – you feel compelled at some point to inform the referee, the TV, Electronic Arts and every living thing in creation that they’re a bunch of cheating $#%@$#^ @!$#%!$@#% !$@%!@$#%!@$ (and foithermore) their #@$!@# isn’t worth a @#$%#$% your mom @#$!%!$@#% Lake Superior #!@~$#!%!#$%…the game will now hear you. They SAY you won’t get carded, but saucy language will affect the referee’s strictness towards your team for the duration of the match; as well as potentially having longer-term ramifications in the Career mode.

Yes, FIFA 13 is now introducing consequences for those who cuss a referee’s decision.

Which, at last count, was every football fan ever.

(I happen to know at least three people who’ve probably spontaneously combusted at the mere thought of this.)

THAT WAS NEVER A @#$%@#$%ING PENALTY, YOU – You have been signed out of the PlayStation Network. Please sign in again once you’ve washed your mouth out with soap.

Armored Kill DLC trailer proves that Battlefield 3 hasn’t forgotten its roots

The main appeal of the Battlefield series – for me, anyway – was always about vehicular violence. Headshot from halfway across the map? Pfft, anybody could do that. Running over an enemy with a tank on his own aircraft carrier? Now that’s something to tell the grandchildren. Vehicles just make everything better, and this latest trailer for the Armored Kill DLC proves that. Coming this September, Armored Kill will bring five new vehicles to the battlefield, as well as a whole bunch of vehicle-related unlocks. Road warriors, saddle up.
Oh, and in case you were wondering just how awesome vehicular combat can be, watch this.

Rocksteady’s next Batman game might be Silver Age prequel

Rumours coming out of Hollywood would indicate that Warner Bros. is pushing for a Justice League movie by 2015, in response to the commercial bonanza that was The Avengers. Naturally, Warner and DC want to grab the spotlight back from Marvel’s motley crew; and, while The Dark Knight Rises (which releases today!) will undoubtedly do that at the box office, there’s going to be renewed activity on the gaming front. Members of the Justice League figure prominently in Lego Batman 2, as well as next year’s Injustice: Gods Among Us. What’s more, Rocksteady – the folk behind Arkham Asylum and Arkham City – have apparently been drafted in to create a stylized, Silver Age-based Batman prequel game, that will also feature some of his costumed compadres.

Of course, the atmosphere of the Silver Age differs greatly from the dark and gritty world that Rocksteady’s given us so far; and it would mark a rather substantial departure from the formula that’s given us two awesome games. Still, Rocksteady’s more than earned a little faith; and, despite some misgivings about the source material, who’s to say they won’t knock it out of the park one more time? I believe in those guys – it’s rather hard to make a good superhero game, and they went and did it twice. Just…please give Robin some pants, guys. That’s all I ask.

Seriously, dude’s showing more skin than Wonder Woman.


For You, My Friend, Special Price – it’s not paranoia if Steam’s really out to get you

To prepare for his now-legendary portrayal of the Joker in The Dark Knight, Heath Ledger locked himself in a hotel room, scribbled down what he imagined the Joker’s schizophrenic thoughts might sound like, and spent hours practicing that chilling voice and laugh. Luckily, you won’t have to go to quite those lengths to get a taste of insanity – Steam’s got Amnesia: The Dark Descent at 75% off all day! They’ve got other titles on sale as well, but nothing else that will guarantee you a couple of weeks of sleeping with the lights on.

Meet the cast of Sleeping Dogs

As Uncharted, Mass Effect and the Arkham series have all proved, a quality cast of voice-actors can really take a game that one step closer towards being something truly special. This looks to be a lesson that Sleeping Dogs took to heart – featuring the voices of Tom Wilkinson (Batman Begins, RocknRolla), Emma Stone (The Amazing Spider-Man), Kelly Hu (X-Men 2) and Lucy Liu (Charlie’s Angels[!]), among others.

The Evolution of PC Games – my, we’ve come a long way.

This video will have one of two effects on you:

  • You will stare at the screen in horror, thinking that there’s something wrong with your display, until it magically clears up around the 1:49 mark.
  • You will feel very, very old. *Player takes 999 points of Nostalgia damage and dies*

Personally, I love things like this – not only do they show us how far we’ve come, but they make me oh-so-eager for what lies in store. What kind of videos will they be making twenty years from now? I don’t know, but I’m sure as hell going to enjoy finding out!


For You, My Friend, Special Price – why, Steam, why?

Out of deference to my readers’ bank balances, I have hitherto refrained from posting about the Steam Summer Sale and the vast range of goodies therein. That forbearance ends today, and you’ll thank me for it.

Company of Heroes and Limbo are available at $2.49 each. In case you’re not counting, that’s two and a half dollars for two games that redefined their respective genres – Company of Heroes for real-time-strategy, and Limbo for little-boy-creepiness (to be fair, it managed to be both incredibly creepy and incredibly awesome – which is pretty much the dream, isn’t it?)

Go forth and spend, my son.

Snoop Dogg is in Tekken Tournament 2, did you know his first name was Calvin?

One day, Snoop Dogg woke up and decided that he wanted to be in a videogame. (It’s possible that he was inspired by this video, but we may never know.) And because he is Snoop Dogg, it was done. The game  in question? Tekken Tag Tournament 2. Now, while most celebrities would be content with a cameo appearance as a fighter, Mr. Dogg is not most celebrities. As the above trailer showcases, El Perro Grande will be the centrepiece of an entire stage in the September release. He will, of course, be accompanied by the requisite bevy of gardening implements – as any self-respecting rapper would – and has also composed an original theme for the stage’s background music. This is not the first time the worlds of music and gaming have intersected – we’ve had good, bad and ugly. Full press release after the break.

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